At 17, Marnie Mitchell gave up her identity and rich heritage as a First Nations person. “For years I focused on the broken parts of my life and would not embrace the positive parts of my culture,” says Marnie. “I felt ugly, worthless and heartbroken. Then I met The Salvation Army.

“I was raised on and off the reserve in Duncan and Saanichton B.C.” says Marnie, now 35. “I didn’t look First Nations and was often ridiculed and told to get off the land. Although my father was Chief, I felt worthless, unwanted and ashamed of my culture.

“Since I can remember I longed for a relationship with my dad. I excelled at basketball and baseball any sports really to gain his attention and affection. But my efforts were futile. Growing up I felt like I was never good enough.

“My parents divorced when I was 13. I preferred living with my dad because he had money. I gave up striving for his attention and took advantage of his financial situation. I bought designer clothes and frequented fast-food restaurants because he was never home.”

“It wasn’t long before my life began to spiral downward. I gave up sports for parties and alcohol. I quit school in Grade 9 for a full-time job as a gas attendant, and my longing to be loved and to feel beautiful was satisfied temporarily in one-night stands.

“Then I got pregnant. I was devastated. ‘How could I let this happen?”

“I was so ashamed. I couldn’t tell my mom, she would be heart-broken. So I called my dad. He said we could work things out. He also said our family name was at stake. I opted for abortion.

“For years I believed I was a baby-killer. Pro-life campaigns were a constant reminder of my shameful secret. I couldn’t forgive myself.

When all of my friends had moved on to college I was left all alone. Before I knew it I was surrounded by Christians. I finally gave up the battle of trying to do it on my own, I had asked Jesus into my life. At the time a friend who didn’t understand fully what she was saying suggested I renounce my culture and become a Christian. It was easy for me. I was 17—I didn’t like who I was and what I had become.

“At the same time I met Pete. He was good and kind and he encouraged me to talk to the pastor so I could repent of my abortion and receive healing, which I did, but I didn’t forgive myself for all that I had done. There was a lot of inner healing that needed to take place before I would reclaim my identity.

“A few years later Pete and I had married and moved to William’s Lake, B.C. Not long after our arrival Pete was invited to join the local Salvation Army band as drummer. I had no interest in church. Besides, The Salvation Army was only about thrift stores and food banks, so I thought.

Eventually, I joined Pete at The Salvation Army. It was here I learned that God uses ugly, brutal situations to help others. It was here that I finally understood what the life, death and resurrection of Jesus was all about. I finally forgave myself and I traded in the feelings of worthlessness and rejection for joy and self-esteem.

“My heritage is a gift to me and I am proud to be a First Nations person. Through full-time ministry with The Salvation Army Pete and I are reaching out to the multi – cultural community in Vancouver. We share the freedom of embracing who we were created to be without saying we have to ‘renounce’ our culture, but rather let’s celebrate it!

“As I maintain and strengthen my identity I celebrate the multicultural nature of Canada and the unique culture and traditions of the First Nations people.”

Like it? Tweet it!