“Stan turned on me. The arm he had been pointing with swept down to whack me soundly across the face. I staggered back but didn’t fall. Jody, our three-year-old son, went berserk. He leapt from his chair and started screaming at his father. He ran over and pounded Stan’s leg with his little fists.
“ ‘Leave Mommy alone!’ he yelled. ‘Leave Mommy alone! I’ll kill you!’ Stan was so surprised that it took him a while to react. When the outrage finally sank in, he grabbed Jody by one arm and flung him across the room. Our son crashed against the bottom cupboards and collapsed onto the floor.”
Eve Mills Nash grew up in a home ruled by alcohol, addiction and poverty. Groping male fingers casually abused her. She learned that the alcohol leftover in the cups possessed the power to numb her pain.
At 17, Eve married a Mohawk soldier. By 21, she had four children and was living in terror, fearing not only for her own life but also for the lives of her children. In her book Little White Squaw: A White Woman’s Story of Abuse, Addiction and Reconciliation co-authored with Kenneth J. Harvey, Eve opens a window to her past. She tells of numerous attempts to break free from her abusive husband—his rage and death threats, her sleepless nights and constant fear, the sleeping pills and addictions.
But even after the divorce, the downward spiral of her broken life continued. Eve re-married, but eventually lost control of her drinking. Alcohol seemed to numb the pain. In her despair, she turned to fortune telling. Feeling trapped in the maze of pain, death looked like her only escape route. Seven times Eve tried to take her own life.
After yet another divorce, house fires and assault, Eve finally cried out to God for help. Through a 12-step program, Eve started to rebuild her life. She found release from her addiction and began a new relationship with Jesus Christ.
Things did not go well at first. Her third marriage to a Maliseet Indian man brought her more abuse and two trips to a house for abused women. Her husband was eventually incarcerated for his behaviour, and Eve returned to school. Graduating with a Masters Degree in English, she began a successful writing career.
Still, the path to healing proved long and difficult as Eve struggled to find her place in life. She worked to rebuild ties with her Native community.
Eve’s complete healing came 10 years after she stopped drinking. “The biggest struggle for me was going back to church, but the Lord lead me to a wonderful place full of kind and loving people.”
Many years have passed since God first called Eve during a Native sweat lodge ceremony. She has learned to release her pain to God and is now teaching others about His love and forgiveness.
“I often work in remote Native communities teaching mothers how to care for their children and how to heal from their own woundedness. I also work in the school system as a mentor to young children. The primary focus of my work is now directed to a maximum security penitentiary. God gave me a burden for the prisoners, especially the lifers and long-term.”
Looking back, Eve says: “No human power could completely heal the deep wounds of my past. It wasn’t until I began a relationship with Jesus, the Great Physician, that I found complete healing. There can be no healing without forgiveness, and no true forgiveness without the power of Christ.”